[insert cheesy song lyric/quote/etc about saying goodbye...]
Well, I had this really great post all ready to go, but you know how computers are...
Anyway, I'm packed. Just have to take a shower and throw a couple things in my carry on and I'll be all set. I'm ready. These past few days have been too full of too many goodbyes, some easier than others but none fun. Ugh. My "feeler" has been going crazy, along with my inability to pack/plan without stressing out and having panic attack/ freak out moments. But right now I'm feeling pretty good. Tired, but awake, and ready to go to the airport in about 2 hours, and get on the plane in about 4. Hopefully I'll get this to work and then take a shower and have a little quiet time and eat something and go...
I'm trying to remember my brilliant writing that I lost...I talked to my aunt tonight--she and her family just moved from Oregon to California. They always seemed to have it so good--whenever they'd come in, everyone would get so excited and it was always such a big deal. I used to think how great that'd be, to be the fun relative that everyone looks forward to seeing. But talking to her a bit tonight, I thought about where I'm headed now and how I will truly be the farthest away of all family members, for the next few years at least. It hit me that while going away and being welcomed back is nice, there's also a lot of pain and loss in being the one who's gone.
So, is it worth it? I have to admit that in the midst of my last few days of craziness, I've asked myself this. Am I doing the right thing or have I lost my mind? The answer is yes (that I'm doing the right thing, not losing my mind...yet!). This is a big adventure, a challenge, a stretch, and I'm scared, overwhelmed, excited, ready, etc, but I know for the first time in my life with a great deal of certainty that this is it, that this is what I've been called to and I must go, and I want to, which is always a good combination.
So just a few more goodbyes, certainly the hardest, and then the wild ride begins. Well, this part of it at least. I'm hopeful about my luggage making it there safely, and if not, well, I know who's in control, and I know that this is all bigger than me. Now I'm starting to get a little delirious. I hope you all are well and I wish I could have seen everyone, but I'm learning it's ok for things to not always work out the way you plan, because you may get what you need instead of what you wanted, which is always better.
Anyway, I'm out. Be on the lookout for the next post, coming to you straight from South Asia!!!

1 shout outs!:

Ananthi Selvan said...

Hey Mandi, this is Samuel posting from Lincoln, NE. I am sorry I missed you leave and that I never called you once before you left. That was extremely stupid of me.

Wishing you the best in South Asia. Hope to see you when I visit South Asia myself.

PS: Ananthi Selvan is my mother's name, so don't be freaked out byt the name.

Please enable RSS or Atom feeds. You can do this from your settings in blogger.